Chapter 15: The Midday Siesta

Curt Owens wakes up from his nap and his dreams of Plenarius, and spends a few moments moping around his dilapidated farmhouse. He tells us that World War III is going on (has he ever bothered to mention this before?) and Russia has attacked a bunch of countries, and China has invaded California (but has yet to breach Idaho), and the American people are all running around in the streets and shooting the Chinese soldiers with their own guns, and nuclear bombs are going off everywhere, and Hawaii has been destroyed, etc. But so far, the war has yet to reach Curt’s dilapidated farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, so he’s not too worried about it.

And then, after this nonchalant summary of World War III, Curt falls back asleep, and continues to dream of Plenarius...

Wesley takes a short break from the army and goes home. He is helping out Elvis at the shoe shop when an old friend named Dio (a fellow professor from back in Wesley’s teaching days) runs in and desperately asks Wesley for help. Always willing to help, Wesley follows Dio. Supposedly they are going to meet with the Council to help prevent the deaths of some mutants in the woods but... it’s a setup! Wesley has been betrayed by his old friend!

Rezah (the guy in the army who hates Wesley and is always threatening to kill Wesley’s family) is waiting, and he has the Enforcement Council at his command. He accuses Wesley of stealing an artifact from the museum, and when Wesley is like “But I’m a godly man, and I was just making shoes. I’ve never stolen anything,” Rezah pulls the artifact out of Wesley’s pocket (it was, of course, planted there by Dio). And Wesley is informed that he will be executed in two hours’ time.

Wesley is dragged to the town center, and it seems that COW has recently watched Braveheart (or perhaps the Passion of the Christ) because Wesley is stripped and beaten bloody, and then he is taken to the blacksmith shop where his hands are mashed with a hammer so his fingers are mangled and broken. And then he is taken before the Council for judgement, and he kneels down and lays his head on a stump.

His last words are not “freedom” or “It is finished” (both William Wallace and Jesus were much more succinct than Wesley). Rather, Wesley quotes a really long and boring (and seemingly irrelevant) paragraph from the Book of Knowledge (the Bible) about “seven days in the week... six for work and one for rest... blah blah blah.”

But then, out of nowhere, the mighty prophet Shenshuo appears, and he saves Wesley’s life! Rezah attacks Shenshuo with a lightsaber, but Shenshuo grabs the blade and it turns to ice. Shenshuo then declares Wesley king of Plenarius, and tells everyone Wesley’s true history—that he is the youngest son of King Shauel, and that he will lead the Plenarians to victory against the Hamartians, for it is God’s will! Shenshuo then smites down Rezah with his God Power, and Rezah dies.

So, Wesley is free and now he is king of Plenarius. He meets with people at his parents’ house, and gives them a breakdown of his battle strategy. The war will begin tomorrow! And Wesley will pilot the Survivor and lead his people to victory! He also asks for two lightsabers, because Wesley loves to dual-wield lightsabers... but wait! Aren’t Wesley’s hands horribly broken? Never mind, who am I to question...

THE TRUTH OF OUR UNIVERSE

(Please do not form a cult.)