Chapter 28: Reign Of Death
After the battle with the Hamartian Mother Ship, the Survivor is badly damaged and lands in Eastern Africa, where repairs are made and plans are drawn. Curt doesn’t really feel like helping out, so he spends his time doing what he has always done best, napping. He relaxes on the ship’s ramp. Now that sounds like a cozy spot for a nap! Almost as cozy as the floor of his dilapidated farm house. As Curt is napping, he thinks to himself, “It’s weird to be napping here while the African people are being murdered by the Hamartians. YAWN. Oh well...”
Meanwhile, Wesley and Eurisko fix the Survivor as best as they can by patching up the holes with sap that they found in the woods, and then they come up with a shitty plan: Tomorrow morning, they will set a bunch of mines up in space, and then lure the Mother Ship out, and when the Mother Ship enters the mine field... GAME OVER! Or, more likely, the Mother Ship takes minimal damage and is pretty much fine.
Curt finds himself unable to sleep the night before the attack (perhaps because he has been napping non-stop for the last year) so he goes to spy on Wesley. He finds Wesley lying face down on the floor, crying and calling out that he is “the bond servant of the Lord.” Curt is extremely impressed by Wesley and God’s BDSM relationship (God is a real Discipline Daddy), and Curt returns to his happy slumber, knowing that what he just saw will be with him for the rest of his life.
In the morning, everyone is in for a surprise.... The sensors detect something massive exiting hyperspace... The Supahmote has come to the rescue!
Does anyone remember the Supahmote? I vaguely do. It was many, many chapters ago. It was the legendary Plenarian super ship (wait, wasn’t that the Survivor?), or something. Anyway, the Supahmote is the biggest, bestest, coolest ship ever, and it has come to Wesley’s aid!
The battle that ensues makes no sense, but I think that what happens is that all the Hamartian ships including the Mother Ship appear because their sensors pick up the Supahmote, and they all attack the Supahmote simultaneously. But before they can really do anything, the Supahmote sends out this, like, Supahbeam of energy that destroys all the Hamartian ships in one blast. The battle with the Mother Ship is over! The Plenarians won!
After the vague single paragraph finale, General Steven, pilot of the Supahmote, embraces Wesley. Then, much to Steven’s horror (let us not forget that the Plenarians, God’s chosen people, are extreme xenophobes) Wesley invites Curt to come back to Plenarius with them. Of course, Curt says yes.
For a moment, the thought of going to Plenarius is bittersweet for Curt, because he realizes he probably won’t be allowed to get married once he’s there. Then again, he never found a girl to marry on Earth, so he might as well go to Plenarius. And so, Curt realizes he’s going to die a virgin. But maybe, if he’s lucky, he will get to be in a BDSM relationship with God... After all, Curt is probably the submissive type, and we all know that God is one hell of a sadistic Dom.
Meanwhile, Wesley and Eurisko fix the Survivor as best as they can by patching up the holes with sap that they found in the woods, and then they come up with a shitty plan: Tomorrow morning, they will set a bunch of mines up in space, and then lure the Mother Ship out, and when the Mother Ship enters the mine field... GAME OVER! Or, more likely, the Mother Ship takes minimal damage and is pretty much fine.
Curt finds himself unable to sleep the night before the attack (perhaps because he has been napping non-stop for the last year) so he goes to spy on Wesley. He finds Wesley lying face down on the floor, crying and calling out that he is “the bond servant of the Lord.” Curt is extremely impressed by Wesley and God’s BDSM relationship (God is a real Discipline Daddy), and Curt returns to his happy slumber, knowing that what he just saw will be with him for the rest of his life.
In the morning, everyone is in for a surprise.... The sensors detect something massive exiting hyperspace... The Supahmote has come to the rescue!
Does anyone remember the Supahmote? I vaguely do. It was many, many chapters ago. It was the legendary Plenarian super ship (wait, wasn’t that the Survivor?), or something. Anyway, the Supahmote is the biggest, bestest, coolest ship ever, and it has come to Wesley’s aid!
The battle that ensues makes no sense, but I think that what happens is that all the Hamartian ships including the Mother Ship appear because their sensors pick up the Supahmote, and they all attack the Supahmote simultaneously. But before they can really do anything, the Supahmote sends out this, like, Supahbeam of energy that destroys all the Hamartian ships in one blast. The battle with the Mother Ship is over! The Plenarians won!
After the vague single paragraph finale, General Steven, pilot of the Supahmote, embraces Wesley. Then, much to Steven’s horror (let us not forget that the Plenarians, God’s chosen people, are extreme xenophobes) Wesley invites Curt to come back to Plenarius with them. Of course, Curt says yes.
For a moment, the thought of going to Plenarius is bittersweet for Curt, because he realizes he probably won’t be allowed to get married once he’s there. Then again, he never found a girl to marry on Earth, so he might as well go to Plenarius. And so, Curt realizes he’s going to die a virgin. But maybe, if he’s lucky, he will get to be in a BDSM relationship with God... After all, Curt is probably the submissive type, and we all know that God is one hell of a sadistic Dom.
There's a new daddy in town! He's a discipline daddy, gonna spank your behind!
Anyway, as Curt is pondering the dismal future that lies in store for his sperm, Wesley and Steven realize that one Hamartian Porcupine may have escaped the Supahmote’s blast, and could potentially be heading back to attack Plenarius, but then again Plenarius IS an awesome planet, and what kind of damage could one little Porcupine really do to it anyway? As the chapter comes to a close, Wesley and Steven decide to stay on Earth and finish exterminating any random Hamartians while searching for any remaining Plenarian brothers. And that is...
THE TRUTH OF OUR UNIVERSE
THE TRUTH OF OUR UNIVERSE
(Please do not form a cult.)
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