Chapter 29: Returning To Genocide?
In this penultimate chapter of The Good Book, our heroes explore one last sacred space: Columbia, Missouri.
A crashed Hamartian ship was located in Hereford, MO (just 11 miles east on I-70 and 3 miles north on MO-DD), but its beacon was found in Columbia! Surely this can’t be the result of a crashed ship plummeting through the atmosphere. It must be a scandal! Someone is stealing the bad guys’ technology, and it’s not us!
Where was this beacon located? At the old power plant, “across from the engineering building, part of the old university campus, before the campus had moved more toward the East.”
Guys. I’m going to be honest. I’ve been somewhat of a skeptic that this drivel really is the Truth of the Universe. I’ve had my struggles with doubt. But coming across this in a Holy Book has opened my eyes. It can’t be a coincidence that Calvin Oliver Wilson has had such specific knowledge revealed to him! This is prophecy come true! How else would someone have such a solid grasp on the minutia of locations around Columbia, Missouri? Surely this was put in as a sign for True Believers to hold on to. We have found THE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE!
I’m not saying we should start a cult. But I wouldn’t be against the creation of a social group defined by its religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object, or goal. I would not be against that at all.
COW takes a break from describing Columbia to do some more sloppy story telling. There were apparently some Plenarians taken hostage by some right-winging, bitter clinging, proud clingers who are afraid the Chinese are going to take over, um, Columbia. All they want in exchange for the release of the hostages is the Good Spaceship Supahmote.
But in order to avoid having to deal with the complication situation of negotiating with terrorists, compromising your principles, etc., etc., we just get Doeron. Doeron, the sassy android who was deactivated several chapters ago, but who knowingly winked at us. Foreshadowing! Such literary technique! And you thought COW would forget about that.
So, Doeron comes out of nowhere and… somehow… saves the day? I think he killed a couple of the hostage-takers, or got them to a ship? If you want to read the chapter and tell me what happened, I’ll listen.
Before we leave Columbia and head back to Plenarius, we get news of what has happened since Wesley left. There were several Hamartian children raised by the Plenarians (like Worf!) who formed a rebellion and alter-government after the previous conflict. Somehow, these orphan children wiped out forty percent of the Plenarian army. It seems the Plenarians are rightly pissed and thinking that a nice bout of genocide ought to do these brats some good.
But news goes two ways, and Wesley uses the road trip back to Plenarius to read to everybody from Curt’s Bible. It’s time that everybody finds out…
THE TRUTH OF OUR UNIVERSE
(Please do not form a cult.)
A crashed Hamartian ship was located in Hereford, MO (just 11 miles east on I-70 and 3 miles north on MO-DD), but its beacon was found in Columbia! Surely this can’t be the result of a crashed ship plummeting through the atmosphere. It must be a scandal! Someone is stealing the bad guys’ technology, and it’s not us!
Where was this beacon located? At the old power plant, “across from the engineering building, part of the old university campus, before the campus had moved more toward the East.”
Guys. I’m going to be honest. I’ve been somewhat of a skeptic that this drivel really is the Truth of the Universe. I’ve had my struggles with doubt. But coming across this in a Holy Book has opened my eyes. It can’t be a coincidence that Calvin Oliver Wilson has had such specific knowledge revealed to him! This is prophecy come true! How else would someone have such a solid grasp on the minutia of locations around Columbia, Missouri? Surely this was put in as a sign for True Believers to hold on to. We have found THE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE!
I’m not saying we should start a cult. But I wouldn’t be against the creation of a social group defined by its religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object, or goal. I would not be against that at all.
COW takes a break from describing Columbia to do some more sloppy story telling. There were apparently some Plenarians taken hostage by some right-winging, bitter clinging, proud clingers who are afraid the Chinese are going to take over, um, Columbia. All they want in exchange for the release of the hostages is the Good Spaceship Supahmote.
But in order to avoid having to deal with the complication situation of negotiating with terrorists, compromising your principles, etc., etc., we just get Doeron. Doeron, the sassy android who was deactivated several chapters ago, but who knowingly winked at us. Foreshadowing! Such literary technique! And you thought COW would forget about that.
So, Doeron comes out of nowhere and… somehow… saves the day? I think he killed a couple of the hostage-takers, or got them to a ship? If you want to read the chapter and tell me what happened, I’ll listen.
Before we leave Columbia and head back to Plenarius, we get news of what has happened since Wesley left. There were several Hamartian children raised by the Plenarians (like Worf!) who formed a rebellion and alter-government after the previous conflict. Somehow, these orphan children wiped out forty percent of the Plenarian army. It seems the Plenarians are rightly pissed and thinking that a nice bout of genocide ought to do these brats some good.
But news goes two ways, and Wesley uses the road trip back to Plenarius to read to everybody from Curt’s Bible. It’s time that everybody finds out…
THE TRUTH OF OUR UNIVERSE
(Please do not form a cult.)
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