Chapter 20: Recap and Redo
He's been a gladiator... He's been an army dude... He's been a terrorist... He's been a spy... He's been a librarian... He's been the son of a rich CEO... He's been a vog... He's been Columbo... He's been a farmer... He's been the best blacksmith of all time... And now... Zaragiah is... A TEACHER!
He is a teacher for many, many years. For those who care, he teaches tactics and beginning military arts, as well as science, math, farming, history, agriculture, and, of course, smithing. I stopped trying to keep track of how old Zaragiah is, but thankfully COW tells us. He is 324 years old.
He also starts attending church more frequently. Theophilus, the preacher who was responsible for Zaragiah getting saved many chapters ago, delivers old school fire and brimstone sermons. Theophilus tells the Plenarians a mighty judgement is coming upon them, and Zaragiah is particularly convicted when Theophilus says "You go out to hang your laundry, but you do not do so with faith!"
I think this is something we can all take to heart. When was the last time any of us did our laundry WITH FAITH? Of course we do our laundry, but more often than not, our attitude is one of boredom, or impatience, or just a feeling of dull comfort in doing menial household chores. But when we do our laundry, we must heed the voice of the Lord who has put his spirit in our hearts, and do our laundry WITH FAITH!
After delivering his famous Laundry Sermon, Theophilus performs a miracle in which his staff becomes a tree and his podium becomes a pile of dirt.
Next, Zaragiah goes to dinner with the king, the king's oldest son Shauel (SWORD OF SHAUEL, PRINCE OF PLENARIUS), and the king's great, great-granddaughter who doesn't have a name.
I had a real sinking feeling the moment a female character entered the scene.
As far as female representation goes, so far we have had Science Daddy's two wives (Zaragiah's two moms), the princess of China who was hidden on an island (only mentioned, did not get any screen time), Kabob's sister who was too dumb to escape the time warp, and the widow who gave Zaragiah bread and herbs. I think that's it. Let me know if I missed anyone.
Anyway, of course the king is giving Zaragiah his great, great-granddaughter to marry.
So this woman, who doesn't have a name, doesn't have any lines, or anything, and who I am guessing is well under 100 years old, maybe even under 50 years old, is being given away to marry a man who is 324 years old!
GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zaragiah says "Let me think on this, my king, and I'll get back to you." And the king thinks that this is a tasteful, acceptable answer.
Weeks pass, Zaragiah keeps awkwardly having dinner with the king, and Zaragiah realizes he should probably give his answer on the marriage thing, so he tells the king, "Oh mighty King, I'm already married to God! I don't wanna marry your daughter!"
Zaragiah is really panicked about marrying the great, great-granddaughter. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe he's just likes to do his own thing, and isn't ready to settle down yet. Or maybe he really likes being married to God. I don't know.
The king is livid. He screams and rants at Zaragiah, and keeps shaking his spoon. And as punishment for turning down the marriage proposal, the king orders that Zaragiah write down the book of his life.
"Therefore, in my 324th year of life, I began writing a book, this book."
And then a few days later the spoon-shaking king becomes deathly ill and he crowns Shauel as his heir.
He is a teacher for many, many years. For those who care, he teaches tactics and beginning military arts, as well as science, math, farming, history, agriculture, and, of course, smithing. I stopped trying to keep track of how old Zaragiah is, but thankfully COW tells us. He is 324 years old.
He also starts attending church more frequently. Theophilus, the preacher who was responsible for Zaragiah getting saved many chapters ago, delivers old school fire and brimstone sermons. Theophilus tells the Plenarians a mighty judgement is coming upon them, and Zaragiah is particularly convicted when Theophilus says "You go out to hang your laundry, but you do not do so with faith!"
I think this is something we can all take to heart. When was the last time any of us did our laundry WITH FAITH? Of course we do our laundry, but more often than not, our attitude is one of boredom, or impatience, or just a feeling of dull comfort in doing menial household chores. But when we do our laundry, we must heed the voice of the Lord who has put his spirit in our hearts, and do our laundry WITH FAITH!
After delivering his famous Laundry Sermon, Theophilus performs a miracle in which his staff becomes a tree and his podium becomes a pile of dirt.
Next, Zaragiah goes to dinner with the king, the king's oldest son Shauel (SWORD OF SHAUEL, PRINCE OF PLENARIUS), and the king's great, great-granddaughter who doesn't have a name.
I had a real sinking feeling the moment a female character entered the scene.
As far as female representation goes, so far we have had Science Daddy's two wives (Zaragiah's two moms), the princess of China who was hidden on an island (only mentioned, did not get any screen time), Kabob's sister who was too dumb to escape the time warp, and the widow who gave Zaragiah bread and herbs. I think that's it. Let me know if I missed anyone.
Anyway, of course the king is giving Zaragiah his great, great-granddaughter to marry.
So this woman, who doesn't have a name, doesn't have any lines, or anything, and who I am guessing is well under 100 years old, maybe even under 50 years old, is being given away to marry a man who is 324 years old!
GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zaragiah says "Let me think on this, my king, and I'll get back to you." And the king thinks that this is a tasteful, acceptable answer.
Weeks pass, Zaragiah keeps awkwardly having dinner with the king, and Zaragiah realizes he should probably give his answer on the marriage thing, so he tells the king, "Oh mighty King, I'm already married to God! I don't wanna marry your daughter!"
Zaragiah is really panicked about marrying the great, great-granddaughter. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe he's just likes to do his own thing, and isn't ready to settle down yet. Or maybe he really likes being married to God. I don't know.
The king is livid. He screams and rants at Zaragiah, and keeps shaking his spoon. And as punishment for turning down the marriage proposal, the king orders that Zaragiah write down the book of his life.
"Therefore, in my 324th year of life, I began writing a book, this book."
And then a few days later the spoon-shaking king becomes deathly ill and he crowns Shauel as his heir.
Do you think Theophilus meant you show off your laundry, but you don't show off your faith? That at least would make sense...
ReplyDeleteMan, homework is cancelled if the teacher dies. How come he kept writing the book? There was still time to turn back!!
ReplyDelete