Chapter 25: May I Say It Was Far?

“Mother, may I say it was far?” “NO YOU MAY NOT!”

Our favorite menage-a-trois is at it again. Wesley keeps inviting Barar over for dinner dates, and Deborah keeps getting pissed because she’s dating Wesley now. It’s a *pissing contest* over Wesley, if you will. But who will win? Who is the bigger pisser?

After several romantic dinners, Wesley tells Barar that it is time to finally do the deed: It is time for Barar to *come clean* about the *other* planet. Wesley and Barar pick a date and a time, and they meet at the foot of the palace stairs, where all lovers meet. “It is not necessary that you wear your royal armor,” Barar says to Wesley. Talk dirty to me, Barar! Woo baby!

But just when you think things are going to get really spicy, who shows up? It’s Deborah! She’s tagging along, of course. “I will be joining, as well,” Cock Block Deborah replied, as she reached the bottom stair.

And so, the Awkward Trio steps through yet another slip-gate together. This time they are going to Barar’s Super Duper Pooper Glooper Scooper Secret Lab (seriously, how many secret labs does this guy have??) where Barar is going to show Wesley his biggest secret yet. This secret lab is located on the planet Secondaris AKA the Planet Where Time Goes Slow. This planet is known for its beautiful purple sky and bright stars. That sounds romantic to me. What could possibly go wrong?

Upon arrival, Wesley quickly realizes that Secondaris is ugly and stupid and he says, “Well, this is a lot of nothing?”

The same could be said of this book!

Barar drags them to his secret lab, and he is annoyed because he can’t find his namakil Jaren. Big reveal… Barar has ANOTHER AI girlfriend named Jaren! How many does he have now? Deborah, Ali, and Jaren? I think he has three. 

Meanwhile, Wesley has a sinking feeling that Barar has built yet another time machine and says “Tell me, you didn’t build another one. Please tell me you did not.” Barar is always building time machines and fucking everything up. It’s his thing. 

Of course Barar’s big secret is he built another time machine (that is always his big secret), but “It doesn’t do what you think it does!” he says. As they are bickering they realize this isn’t a laboratory… It’s a museum! That’s right, Barar’s secret lab has been transformed into the Grand Legacy History Museum. Except the museum is old and derelict. Everything is broken with grass and weeds growing through the cracks. 

As they examine the dilapidated museum, Deborah, who is perpetually pissed off at Barar, says “What have you done, Barar?”

“I did not do this!” Barar says becoming even more emotional. “Something else must have gone wrong!”

Most of the museum display signs are unreadable but there is a sign about The Great Controller. “The Great Controller said she is not the Original. The wisdom of the Great Controller guided us from times past and her wisdom is unsurpassed…”

At this point I’m like SHE? The Great Controller? Who? What?

And then Deborah crouches down and picks up two human skulls. Barar grabs one of the skulls and notices that it lacks the strength and robustness of a Plenarian skull. He thinks that it could be a child’s skull. Alas poor Yorick… whose skull is this? And why are we looking at skulls at all? What does that have to do with anything? Maybe we’ll find out in the next chapter. But probably not. Yeah, I’m SKEPTICal.